HOW THE SPICE GIRLS CHANGED MY LIFE
On Being In Your 20s, & Remembering It's For FUN!
Recently, I went to the cinemas to see a screening of The Spice Girls 1997 Musical Comedy SPICE WORLD. Not to be dramatic – it changed my life. I went in with my Mother and her unhinged friend Caroline – we all had choc tops, Singapore Slings and pints, as well as a ridiculous amount of fun, and I found myself thinking yes – this is what it’s all about! Some of you guys have GOT to remember about FUN! About being completely and utterly ridiculous! Love and fun and silliness and mild embarrassment and self-expression - we are here to be curious and strange! Life is really about being so completely yourself that everyone else feels comfortable enough to be themselves too. Unless your true self is an axe murderer. But I’m sure you’d find community there also.
Before I go any further, it is important to acknowledge that The Spice Girls were manufactured by a group of men to sell to young women and make lots of money. Yes. But did it work? Absolutely. And yes – Posh Spice does not have any musical talent. But God, she was such a slayer that all is forgiven. Which you could say about a lot of modern day musicians. How did they get here? The answer is audacity.
Spice World, for me at least, was an indulgent, silly, witty, fun, fashionable, full throttle camp production. It is perfect to me in its crudeness. Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB you can GFY. I don’t care that its plot completely lacks cohesion. It is too self-aware to be bad. It has all the things I like in it – aliens, Meatloaf (musician), Riff Raff from Rocky Horror, Richard E Grant, platform shoes, mini dresses, London! It doesn’t take itself seriously at all, and because of that, it is deeply refreshing. And Christ – what a script. They do not make things like this anymore and it is devastating! It’s like the writers all sat around throwing darts at the wall with their eyes closed to make a call on where to take the plot next. But if this film had proper structure, it wouldn’t work. It is the insanity, unpredictability, frivolity and complete lack of seriousness that make it so delicious and timeless. Which can be said for life as well!!!! Playfulness is missing from the culture!! We must bring it back.
Over the past few months, I have heard from more and more of my friends that they are feeling completely lost, totally hopeless, terrified, incapable and lacking self-assurance. Big words for a bunch of 24-year-olds. There has been much talk of “it’s so over,” but I am here to debunk that claim - we are so back! We never actually went anywhere! In fact, if anything – we only just got here!
This part of life, your early 20s, is breakfast. You have only just woken up! Come to the table, indulge in the goodies, rub the sleep from your eyes - it is okay to not know what the day holds. For now, it is time to just enjoy trying all the different foods, and finding out what you like. I say all these things with full knowledge that I was an old decrepit hag by the age of 10. And I am scared out of my mind for what’s to come.
A friend of mine once said that he felt his entire life was a cycle of him giving up on things. When I asked him to elaborate, he explained that since he was a young boy, he’d accumulated and dropped hobbies quite fast; like sports, dance etc. I was shocked at his perspective on this. Darling! That is just growing up! That is just learning about yourself! Life is an endless cycle of starting over. Imagine regarding everything you once tried and didn’t pursue as failure instead of experience! The exhaustion that this perspective brings is unfathomable. Humans get bored. We are not realistically designed to do one thing forever.
One time, I joined a Pop Choir in South London because I was feeling lonely. I went a couple of times, where myself along with bunch of 60-80 year old women performed an accapella version of Better The Devil You Know by Kylie Minogue, with correlating hand choreography. It felt very Napoleon Dynamite. I had a moment of reflection after the comedic value wore off after few sessions and thought okay – this is not for me, thank you ladies.
I used to climb with my brother, but found it boring. Then I went to the gym, and I got bored! Now I do ballet and ride my bike. I’ll probably get bored of that too, then it’ll be time for the next thing! Regardless - I'm still moving, learning and progressing. But the perspective part is important.
If ever you feel lost in your 20s, reflect on this quote from Spice World:
“When the rabbit of chaos is pursued by the ferret of disorder through the fields of anarchy, it is time to hang your pants on the hook of darkness. Whether they're clean or not.”
I’d like to think entering your 30s is some sort of mimosa filled bottomless brunch - I imagine that by then I’ll hopefully have my finances slightly more stabilised, and by correlation will have more freedom and stability to try whatever I would like with more of a safety net.
Within this rule, anywhere from 40-60 is a glorious lunch. It is important to have lots of fun and remain an absolute freak up until this point so that all the younger freaks at the breakfast table can look at you and feel that things will be okay. And 70+ is dessert – you can gorge yourself and do whatever you want and be completely unapologetically indulgent because you’ve done it all already. It is time to enjoy what you know you like.
I think that perspective is an incredibly important thing to obtain in your 20s. It is an inherently self-obsessed and narcissistic age – everyone is trying to make a future for themselves, and in doing so, often put themselves first. Which is okay! But at the same time, we need to take care of each other - there is deep love and support that is found in community. There are also wild disparities in privilege and background amongst friends in your 20s – which is something I have been aware of my entire life, having grown up privileged and white in Papua New Guinea. But coming to Australia – I have seen a lot of self-indulgence and self-pity in people who live outrageously good lives. Of course, it is okay to be sad. Of course, honour your emotions. I don’t want to ruffle feathers – but sometimes, in your 20s, I think you will find if you are sad, thinking about literally anything but yourself for a while will do you a world of good. I said this in my last post, but there is a lot of narcissism and vanity present in self-hatred and pity. But just as comparison can summon destruction and a lack of appreciation for what you have, it can also provide a wealth of perspective and grace, that can be a catalyst for growth. It is time to think about some other things. There are dishes to do and shirts to iron and people to love in the meantime.
ON PUTTING YOUR ENERGY IN THE RIGHT PLACES:
Change isn’t exactly a welcome thing in my life. I awkwardly shake its hand and begrudgingly invite it in, knowing it is impolite to not. But I did the whole self deprecating thing - it gets old. And I’d like to be happy now. It is time to be easily impressed and excited about everything. I am a well rounded and unfinished girl.
It is Springtime, it is time for gentle beginnings. Time to wake up! Come back to the world! Come back to yourself! Time to listen to The Cure and hear Robert Smith talk about how deeply he loves his wife. Do not stay loyal to your sadness like it is some badge of honour!!! Stop borrowing that grief from the future and dragging it along from the past!!! Walk outside – look at all this space we have to let go! I know that you are intuitive and brilliant – but you are overwhelming and destroying yourself in confronting and analysing everything in your path.
As we near Summer, I urge all the beautiful esoteric women who read my blog to not get sucked into the hot-girl-I-can-fix-him-season. Instead, indulge in a Jane Goodall Summer – which is who I feel like every time I try and communicate with a man. Why?????? Why fix him???? Why make him worse???? Why the unfulfilling passion project??? Why not instead, stand safely behind the glass and watch what he can possibly do next????
I’ve been speaking with my mother about her love of the Nokia Brick, and hatred for the smart phone in relation to how she moved through her 20s without either. Here’s what she has to say.
The Joy Of Missing Out - I’m not missing out by not participating in something I didn’t want to do in the first place.
The thrill of being left alone!
The elimination of the vile and persistent stress of perception and in turn, comparison - the concept of aesthetic in relation to identity is a trap! Don’t pigeonhole yourself through strict branding!
We imprison people who we should’ve let go of long ago in our phones.
What better way to wrap up this post than with a Spice World quote? Go forth into the world, with these words, from Richard E Grant:
“They're Hot, Chief. They've Got Fire In Their Eyes, Hunger In Their Bellies, And Great Big Shoes On Their Feet.”
